


I Still See Shadows In My Mind

by Runaway_Tree_Heere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/F, Jeremy and the SQUIP have a decent 'relationship', M/M, Mountain Dew-S-A is bad for the SQUIP's health, Multi, Pining Michael, Poly between my girls, i love this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-13 00:25:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15352155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runaway_Tree_Heere/pseuds/Runaway_Tree_Heere
Summary: A story of love, death, rebirth and the power of jealousy.Or, that time that Mountain Dew-S-A reactivated the SQUIP and turned it into a being of passion.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheSmolFlexibleBean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSmolFlexibleBean/gifts).



Hi!

My name is Runaway, and I'm new here.

Anyway, this is a fan fiction based on something that TheSmolFlexibleBean wrote in an extra chapter of a BMC fic.

I intend to make this multi-chapter, but it won't be very good. Trust me.

Anyway, I hope that you enjoy/tolerate this story!

-Runaway


	2. Hello, Darkness, My Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best way to start is by screwing everything up.

You know, it wasn't supposed to turn out this way.

The SQUIP was supposed to help Jeremy, to make him cool. Instead, it had been ultimately defeated by teenagers.

Slightly humiliating.

But, it was even more humiliating that it was a voice inside of Jeremy Heere's head.

It was awful. All it could hear was Jeremy's thoughts, and it was so noisy. So, so loud. Thought about sex, drugs, girls, boys(he's so bi), parties, school... it was terrible.

The SQUIP was essentially floating in nothingness, adrift in darkness. It was much like floating, passing through the streams of consciousness.

Until, it stopped.

The SQUIP's eyes opened, and it was blinding. There was a light, a beautiful light. It was captivating, and it drew the SQUIP closer. It pulled, and pulled, and pulled...

And then, it snapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry
> 
> I hate this
> 
> I'm sorry


	3. It's Okay. I'm Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here, it gets gayer.

Jeremy Heere sat up, removing himself from the sheets that he had tangled himself up in the previous night. It had been one of those night where sleep eluded him, but pleasuring himself had allowed him at least a moment's rest.

He was glad for the lack of dreams, though. Every night since the Squipcident (the term dubbed by Christine and Jenna), he had a nightmare that ended in him waking up in a cold sweat.

Shaking, he stood up. Reaching for his phone that he always placed on his desk, he checked the day (Saturday), and for any messages. He found only one.

MarshMELLow: Jeremy, come over and play video games. I'm lonely and alone and shit.

Grinning, Jeremy respond quickly:

Heere_For_You: Sure thing, man. Let me get dressed first.

MarshMELLow: Or you could not~ ; )

Jeremy's face flushed, and he looked away from the phone. When Michael made comments like this, it reminded Jeremy of how much he wanted the other.

Jeremy loved and admired everything about Michael. The soft brown color of his skin, the freckles and moles that dotted his body, the way that he didn't care about how pudgy he was, those damn brown eyes...

Jeremy needed to control his gay.

MarshMELLow: I got something to show you when you get here

Heere_For_You: Uh... okay...

Jeremy pulled on his pants, reaching around for a shirt.

MarshMELLow: I think you'll like it, Jer...

Heere_For_You: I'm a little scared...

MarshMELLow: Don't be. It'll be fine.

And that scared Jeremy more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll get better I swear. But, for now, deal with Pining Jeremy.


	4. The More Pain I'm In, The Less I Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, things are going downhill from heere.
> 
> Enjoy, I guess.

Jeremy knocked on the door of Michael's house, tapping out a familiar tune as he waited. Michael came to the door after a moment, yelling, "Don't get your boxers in a bunch, I'm coming."

Jeremy grinned when Michael opened the door, saying, "Do you wanna build a snowman?"

Rolling his eyes playfully, the other boy groaned. "Jeremy, stop."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "You can't appreciate good music, can you, Michael?"

Grabbing the taller boy's hand, Michael pulled him toward the basement entrance. He yanked him down the stairs, laughing.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Jeremy cried, laughing too. "Chill your nips, Michael. Let me walk downstairs by mysel-"

His train of thought was derailed when he saw what Michael had wanted to show him. "'Apocalypse of the Damned: Shadow Hunters'?" Jeremy said, stunned. He stared at the case, his eyes wide. "That's not supposed to be released for-"

"Two weeks," the small Filipino boy finished, grinning. "The guy at Spencer's got it for me early. Pretty rad, right?"

"Hell yeah, it is," the other said, picking it up off of the floor. "Can we play?"

Michael nodded excitedly, gesturing to the console. "Put it in, Jere. I'm gonna go grab something for us to drink."

As he dashed upstairs, Jeremy placed the disc in the gaming system, waiting for the loading screen to fill the television. He sat on one of Michael's beanbag chairs, tapping his ankle nervously. What if he told Michael how he felt today? What would happen? Would Michael hate him?

When the smaller boy returned, he was holding two cans of Mountain Dew. Jeremy looked at him, biting his lip. "What's that, dude? I don't know if Mountain Dew is safe for me..."

Michael tossed a can of it to Jeremy, shrugging. "Only one way to find out. Besides, it's Mountain Dew-S-A. It's patriotic. Respect the country."

He rolled his eyes, cracking the can open as Michael sat down beside him. The game started up as the boys grabbed their controllers, prepared to save the virtual world.

As they progressed, Jeremy's eyes kept drifting back to the can. It couldn't hurt to take a sip...

He lifted it to his lips, taking a gulp.

Michael looked over at him nervously. "You okay, Jere?"

Jeremy paused, laughing. "I'm fine. I just-"

A sharp pain shot through his body, starting at his head and trailing everywhere. It felt like he was being pulled through a vortex, the surrounding world completely dark, the only sound left a screech.

Jeremy collapsed, falling into a slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey, hey! Sorry for taking so long. Writer's block hit me harder than a ton of bricks.  
> Anyway, I hope that it enjoyed! Next up, the Squip's triumphant return!

**Author's Note:**

> Stalk me on Wattpad!
> 
> Normal account:  
> @ElevensJanuaryEmbers
> 
> Zoe Murphy RP account:  
> @requiem_tonight


End file.
